Laws of the Autobot Faction
by Lynn Jones
Summary: Halo and Sprite have some advice for their fellow Autobots. chapter one: You May Not...


**Okay, so, to go with the stories I'll be working on when Desert Sunrise and Still Human are done, I'm doing a rules fic. This is by Halo and Sprite, two OCs I will be using shortly.**

** Disclaimer: I own my OCs, but not the Transformers. Apparently there's a Law of the Real World that says that…phooey.**

Hello! This is Halo, younger sister of Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, Autobot extraordinaire and Source of Primus! These Laws have been collected by Sprite and myself, and apply to everyone except us. Well, some of them apply to us, too, but…anyway. I may not follow these – too restricting when I want to prank someone – but all other Autobots, including my darling older brothers, must abide by them. We've grouped these into categories so you can find the rules you need easily.

We'll start with the rules on what you may and may not do. Actually, they're just a lot of things you may not do. These are mostly for the Wreckers and other personnel at Debris, since that's where I'm based, and so I see the most issues there.

1. You may not the Dynobots up for speech therapy. If you do, we are not responsible for whatever damage they do to you in revenge.

(Halo, it wasn't funny!)

(Oh, lighten up, Sprite! The look on Ratchet's face when they asked him what speech therapy was…priceless! Also, this is my section! Slag off!)

2. You may not make Matrix replicas and sell them.

(Believe it or not, it was actually Perceptor who did this. Apparently, Twin Twist thought it was a good idea to pretend he was Pips, one of Sprite's Intelligence recruits who likes to gamble, for a day.)

(Twin Twist bet Perceptor that he couldn't get anyone to buy them.)

(Impactor was not amused.)

(Neither was Ultra Magnus)

(Apparently, making Matrix replicas and selling them is against regulations…)

3. You may not have:

Non-washable paint that doesn't match your paint color (no more redoing my paint job! I can change colors myself, thank you very much!)

Any item from Wheeljack's lab that hasn't been tested and approved by Perceptor (so, basically, all of Wheeljack's inventions are off-limits.)

Any weapon that hasn't been tested and approved by Perceptor (Because Brainstorm's been having ideas lately. The laser that fires out the back was apparently supposed to hit someone sneaking up behind you. It just hits your shoulder.)

Anything illegal or in violation of the Autobot code that you're stupid enough to be caught with (and you will be caught. We have _Ultra Magnus_ on Debris, for crying out loud!)

4. You may not encourage rookies to break the rules.

(Yes, I'm looking at you, Twin Twist and Top Spin. I know it was you who told those new recruits that it was ok to sneak around while Red Alert was visiting…)

5. Likewise, you may not prank newbies.

(They were so in awe of the senior Wreckers that they didn't even complain when Twin Twist spray-painted them all bright pink.)

6. You may not walk into the recruit barracks, shake your head, mutter "canon fodder", and leave.

(I realize this seems to be under the heading of 'no pranking', but somebody – yes, I'm looking at you, Twin Twist – insisted that he wasn't pranking them, he was telling the truth. Sadly, he's right. Most of the newbies end up as canon fodder before they have a chance to become full-fledged Wreckers.)

7. You may not answer "no" to orders unless you would like to be shipped back to Iacon City as a very, very flat piece of metal, curtesy of Rack'N'Ruin.

(Yes, we have done it before. Why do you think Whirl disappeared for a while last deca-cycle? We had to send him to Ratchet to get him fixed.)

8. You may not take extra Energon. Especially not when you're going to use it to blow something up accidentally. We barely have enough as it is.

(I really shouldn't have to spell this one out, but somebody – looking at you, Wheeljack – keeps taking extra 'in the name of science'.)

9. You may not consume high-grade while on-duty or just before you go on-duty. Especially if you're going to be on-duty wile Kup is watching.

(Stupid, stupid Wreckers. They think Kup's an idiot. I mean, the worst Magnus will do is read you the riot act and throw you in the brig. Kup will use you for a sparring partner.)

(That mech may look old, but he turned Whirl into a pile of scrap in about two astroseconds.)

(Another trip to Iacon to see Ratchet for Whirl.)

10. You may not hoard Energon. Especially high-grade.

(Wheeljack keeps finding the stashes and using them to fuel his experiments.)

(And Whirl keeps finding the high-grade stashed and drinking them. I swear, the only thing worse than a cranky Whirl is a drunk Whirl.)

(And Twin Twist and Top Spin think it's funny to spike people's energon with the high-grade stashed they find.)

(If I ever figure out who keeps building up these stashes, I will personally escort him to Magnus' office – then to Kup's when Magnus lets him out of the brig.)

**All right, what does everyone think? Feel free to review – though be aware, flames will be used to bake energon cookies. If my characters get energon-cookie-highs, I'll know where to look…**

**Anyway, feel free to suggest a rule! The categories are: General, Dealing With Superiors, Assignments, Trainees, Reports, You Absolutely Physically Cannot, Excuses, Medics, Dealing With Skyglory (Sprite's mech flyer sparkling), Dealing With Sprite, and Halo's Personal Laws For Surviving the War.**


End file.
